November 29, 2011

Been a while

I have feeling it's going to be a long time. Yes Dexter, it will be a long time. Or will it be along time? Either way it makes some sense, other than nonsense and this is not in the present tense. Is your present tense? If I were a present I would be tense, all that excitement and build-up for the coming holidays!!! The sad part would be when I realized this meant I was going to be torn open by a person screaming at the top of their lungs as they dove in head first and disemboweled me and then discarded me without even stopping to say they were sorry. Then they would have moved onto the poor unlucky sap that came next. That kind of takes the fun out of it. My grandma used to (still does?) make us carefully undo the edge that had the tape on it of the wrapping paper so that she could save it and use it for next year. I have my suspicions that they really did this to collect a repository of the DNA of everyone in the family, that way they can track us down at anytime they so choose. My family is crazy like that.

You ever notice how pirates not only have a parrot on their shoulder, but they're also missing one eye? Real pirates have the parrot on the same side as the eye that's missing. If you don't believe me, just go find a real pirate that is missing an eye and has a pet parrot. If he/she has it on the opposite side, they're either from Hollywood, or they're a stupid pirate and probably has a peg leg and a pet gator they forget to feed. If I were a pirate captain I would make my entire crew wear speedos when we were attacking someone, that way they would either be mesmerized, horrified, or laughing too hard to do anything but give up. Being violent and bloody is highly overrated. Girls they like the kissing as much as we do.

This will be short, I just wanted to let those who were not traumatized or damaged permanently from last years Christmas story, I will be doing another one this year, and I'm pretty excited for it. I have the idea, and just need sometime to put it all together. I will probably do my terrible drawings and make a picture book like I usually do, but I will also probably do a longer story version of it this year, if I can pull it off.

Here's what I've been up to and why I haven't really put up anything for awhile (disclaimer: do not read while driving, taking care of children or operating heavy machinery as doing so may cause injury to oneself or others, intentional or otherwise):

 It's pretty boring to read.