November 6, 2012

Where's the revolution?

It's on the dance floor with some awesome platform shoes and bell  bottom pants. The only problem is this guy showed up:

Completely threw everything out of whack. Thanks a lot Pennywise (not the band). You still give me nightmares and make me cry myself into oblivion while huddled in the corner wishing I could get you out of my head. I hate clowns.

Speaking of stupid men, today is election day in my home country, and it's the one day I can feel like I have a voice in how our government is run. Here's a list of those I voted for: Barney Fife, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Charles Manson, John Wayne Gacy, Ham Sandwich, John F. Kennedy. It was worth the hour long wait in line. If they only had something like this

that you had to pass through to get to the voting booth then things would go much quicker (the picture is the work of Joshua Hoffine and it's just amazing). Plus if you were taking too long the creepy thing under the stairs would have permission to come after you. I for sure would know who I was voting for before going to the polls. Even with all the write-ins, it didn't take that long for me to vote. The best part is now I can sit and complain about what a terrible job all the politicians are doing for the next however many years they are in office. If they didn't do a good job we should lock them in a basement with the creature under the stairs. That or force them to spend a day with Pennywise. That would be something in politics I would find worth my time to watch.

If Obama wins, I'm leaving the county; if Romney wins, I'm leaving the country. It's not political, I just want to travel. If you listen to Charles Manson long enough he's bound to say something funny.

I recently turned 32 years old. I don't feel much different, and if I did I think I would start to worry. I blame climate change for my recent gain in weight (by recent I mean the 20-40lbs I've gained over the past 2-4 years). What I'm really excited for though (besides the invention of time travel) is the next time I visit my parents I'm going to check on my twinkie. I've had this twinkie since I was a freshman/sophomore in high school. I wanted to see how long it would last before it started to mold or go rotten in some form. Last time I checked on it, four years ago, it was still looking as pristine and golden delicious as when I first stored it away (I don't even know how old it was when I put it aside for safekeeping). I've thought about doing the same thing with peeps, but I keep eating them before I get a chance to actually put them aside for future generations. It's not unhealthy to eat this kind of thing either. In fact, people that do eat that kind of stuff will most likely live longer than those who don't, unless they succumb to some form of cancer which may or may not be related to what is or isn't contained in food items such as twinkies, peeps, etc. I'm not really sure what would go under the etc. category though, twinkies and peeps are kind of in a category of their own.

 Since we're on the horror topic, Evil Dead is being remade and the new trailer looks amazing! If you ever get the chance to see Evil Dead, the Musical, do. There's nothing quite like a finale where the living dead are dancing about with the one live person left, flinging blood and guts and gore about on the audience. It's kind of like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, except without the transvestites and Tim Curry molesting everyone. It's a rocking good time for the whole family. Who says nothing good ever came from Canadia? I love maple syrup too.

As I look back on all the things I've done and could have done over the years, and thus far, I don't have too many regrets.

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