July 22, 2013

It's been a long time

A month or two, or three ago I almost made my sister and her husband's heads simultaneously explode. That is no easy feat and needless to say, I am proud of having almost accomplished it. I told them my political stance could best be summarized as a socialist libertarian with anarchist tendencies. I stand by that statement. I hate conservatives for being against any type of change (that affects their wallets, but wholeheartedly embracing change that does the most harm to the majority of people). I have liberals for having adopted the super-paranoid attitude that used to be reserved for right-wing nut jobs, and thinking that everyone is out to get them (not that the NSA is watching or anything, either). Okay, those are broad generalizations and don't apply to everyone, just the ones I've been running into lately. As a joke, and a damn funny one at that, I posted the following on a supposedly liberal website:

Dear Lorena Gallo (Bobbitt),
We as Americans have a problem that you are uniquely qualified to handle and we are in desperate need of your help.
There is an entity lurking among not only the shadows, but also out in the open. Skulking its way through the very halls of congress, seeking to divest us of our rights to feel and be safe in our own homes and communities, among many other manly atrocities, witch are too numerous to enumerate on. This one-eyed trowser [sic] snake goes by the often mis-enunciated moniker of Boehner (Bay-ner is the common method of saying this none-too-unoffensive name). With the wry brigrandry of a male teenage, set loose in the girls locker room, it has been attempting to stab, perforate, penetrate, puncture, and otherwise violate our inalienable rights, and by 'our' I mean of course women's inalienable rights, which naturally apply to you. Yes, it is true. Ohio has a Boehner, and We the People respectfully ask your help in removing it and preventing it from being waved in front of our faces, as if it were a glorious master piece that all should be forced to endure, and having it show boated about even in front of our children, who should never have to be witnesses to such a horrible scene. This time, though, we promise not to press charges for cutting it off at the base. Ohio has a Boehner and not even Robert Smith can help this time. We implore you to take your unique set of skills to Ohio and Washington D.C. and help save us all from this not-so-wee willy winky.
The people of Ohio will thank you, the American people will thank you, and most of all, the one that this Boehner belongs to will thank you (it's lasted for more than four hours, and not even the doctors know how to make it go away).
With warmest wishes and kindest regards,
The American People
With this post I was suddenly inundated with people saying I was trolling and eliciting violence against an elected official. I fail to see this and wonder where they are getting it from. Did I ask her to remove Boehner's unit? No. Did I ask her to dispose of him the same way she did with John's back in the day? No. Am I asking anyone to commit a violent act? I guess if you call voting violent and having Loraine Gallo campaign against him then sure, you could say that I am. 
When did people lose the ability to read and understand? I'm no Swift by any stretch of the imagination, but really, violence? Grow up and learn what it means to laugh again, if at nothing else, than yourself.

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